


YOUTH

by lizardsonline



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bullying, Childhood, Homophobia, Multi, Slurs, Violence, im bad at doing this stuff, just my gay son livin life, rating only for violence and cussing???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardsonline/pseuds/lizardsonline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric Bittle knows everything about anyone but not many people are aware of the details of his childhood</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Growing Up is Not So Tough

**Author's Note:**

> yes the fic title is taken from Troye Sivan

      When Eric was five years old his mother taught him how to make his first pie. He had been watching her from afar for five years, wishing to know the things she knew. How to roll and cut pie dough, how to make filling, how to fill the kitchen with what he believed to be magic.

      Now, as he stood beside her, eyes filled with wonder, he tracked her every movement. His gaze trained carefully on his mother’s hands as she carefully showed him the mechanics of baking, the correct way to fold dough, and the do’s and dont’s of filling. After five years of watching from afar, he was now learning how to make something he would later discover to be a major part of his life.

   
       By the time Eric was seven, he had perfected pie making. Two years of burning his hand and undercooked dough taught him a lot.  But now, he had moved on to mastering other baking techniques. Family gatherings consisted of him staying inside with the women, learning family recipes from his MooMaw and his aunts, while the men drank beer, and grilled outside. He much preferred to make the desserts than play football with his cousins. His Mama and aunties would whisper and laugh about how Eric was going to grow up to be the most wonderful husband cooking for his wife. It has always bothered him. He didn’t know why back then, but it rubbed him the wrong way. 

      School was always the most troubling thing for Eric. Other kids whispered because he was scrawny and feminine looking. He baked and had few friends. The ones he did were either his mama or the women from his mama’s bridge club. There were typical comments from young kids but nothing was too bad. At least, not yet. 

  
       At the age of eight he fell in love with skating. Eric Bittle loved nothing more than to feel the cool air of the rink hit his skin, contrasting the hot Georgia air. The sound of his skates as he whizzed past other skaters was like music to his ears. He was small but he was fast and he knew it. Hours spent at the rink soon turned into days and weekends. As soon as he got home from school he begged his mother to let him go to the rink. His homework would wait for hours as he fantasized about skating and never stopping.

  
     Soon Eric turnes nine and his father suggests he try football. It was time to stop spending all his free time skating aimlessly his father said. But as Eric was carried away from the peewee field, bruised and crying, his Mama couldn't help but hope the world would be kind to her little baby. 

    After the incident, Eric throws himself into skating; shooting around the rink at speeds faster than he ever thought possible. His skating had no direction or and form, but he loves it. One day, however, he watches an older girl jump. He finds himself entranced at the graceful way she lands back onto the ice after launching herself through the air as if she weighs nothing. The grace and beauty and strength which the girl seemed to posses was astounding and Eric found himself starstruck. It mystified him and he wanted to try. After several failed attempts and a few bruises, replicating the jump seemed all but impossible. But Eric Bittle was not a quitter. Soon he pleaded with his mother to let him figure skate, to get him a coach so that he could be just like that girl. 

     Katya worked him hard, but Eric was never one to complain. The rink was his home away from home. Hours that could have been spent at the playground or making friends was spent perfecting jumps and learning tricks. When he thought he did well, Katya always showed Eric that he could improve. She was tough, but never cruel, knowing when to push and when to encourage. Her sparse praise was never given unless it was well deserved. Figure skating became Eric's sole social activity and he loved it. He may have been the only boy in his classes, but the girls in his skating troop were nice. The let him be their friend where the kids at school excluded him. 

     Eric's tenth birthday was spent at a figure skating competition. The girls in his troop gave him cards, and he brought pie for afterwards. Katya gave him a smile as he stepped onto the ice. Mama was in the stands cheering him on, Coach wasn't; he was busy. Eric understood. (It still didn't hurt less. It was his TENTH birthday) But Eric didn't let any of that get him down. Today was HIS day. And he was going to do great.  

     The trophy was more than Eric could have asked for as a birthday present. As he walked out of the rink, Eric beamed with happiness and pride. He hoped this would make his dad proud of him. His father gave him a curt "Congrats junior, happy birthday" as he headed upstairs to bed. Eric promised himself he wouldn't get upset, so he just put on a smile and headed upstairs to find a place for his trophy.

     


	2. Cept' When You've Had Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> middleschool is not kind to eric

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore my awful grammar the person who normally does my beta reads is asleep at this hour

Middle school greets Eric harshly. He does not know the exact definition of the word ‘faggot’, but he knows that apparently, he is one. It plagues his classmates vocabulary when they describe him. 'Fairy’ and 'Sissy’ make it into the mix to but 'faggot’ is the most prominent. It marks his locker, and his schoolbooks if left unattended. Eric pretends not to cry, and puts on a happy face. He brings in pies to classmates for birthdays and cookies and brownies for PTA bake sales in attempts to mollify his classmates, but baked goods cannot buy human decency. To make up for the lack of humanity, Eric throws himself into his training, hoping to train away the pain.

      When Katya mentions the Southern Junior Regionals, Eric is so happy he tells his mother immediately . Of course as any proud mother does, Suzanne brags about how accomplished her son is; to her church friends, to relatives, to the grocer, to anyone who listens. Unfortunately, the price of Suzanne’s pride in her son, is bruises on his arms and stomach. His bullies begin becoming physical but there isn’t much Eric can do. The soreness he feels at the end of the day can only be partially blamed on his training.

      Half way through seventh grade, Eric thinks things have turned around. He meets a boy: Jimmy Miller. Jimmy is the quarterback on his father’s football team and is very popular. Why he starts spending free time with Eric is beyond him but he enjoys it. Jimmy talks to him in the hallway. When he and Eric pass the football team in the halls, Jimmy merely snickers when Eric flinches. It’s a bright sunny day, on the first of April when Jimmy kisses him. The spring sunshine is warm as Jimmy presses his lips against Eric’s behind the gym after P.E. All through the rest of the day Eric floats on cloud nine. Jimmy told Eric to meet him after school, so they could talk more. Eric really hopes Jimmy kisses him again. As the final bell for the day rings, Eric races down the halls, to the secluded area behind the gym. He made sure to send his mother a message beforehand letting her know he was going to 'study' with Jimmy. When he get's there, Jimmy says "Close your eyes."

     Eric obeys happily.  _This is it,_ he thinks  _I'm so happy!_ But as his eyes close, a pair of strong arms force his behind his back. He kicks in retaliation but another pair of arms settle his legs. Fear strikes through Eric when he opens his eyes. The entire football team has surrounded him, Jimmy in the center. "But Jimmy-" Eric chokes out. He cant even think of what to say. Jimmy laughs. 

     "April fools faggot". The first punch settles itself in Eric's stomach. The second lands on his cheek. The entire team takes turns hitting and kicking Eric. His cries only seem to jeer them on as they spout insults and hurl punches. The pain is like none other Eric had ever felt before. His entire body is riddled with bruises and cuts when the football team seems finished with him. Eric think's it can't get any worse, but he is wrong. The boys throw his limp and beaten body into the storage closet behind the gym, effectively locking it from the outside. His phone must have fallen when the boys were beating him because he could no longer feel it in his pocket. With nothing to do, Eric resides himself to crying silently as he attempts to ignore the pain.

         


	3. There's Lots of Fun Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new town, new things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coach bittle loves his son very deeply and i will take this headcanon to the grave. you can pry this from my cold dead hands

            When the janitors find Eric in the morning, he is bloody bruised and broken, curled up on the floor in the fetal position. 

             The second Coach find's out it was his boys who did it, all hell breaks loose. Normally Richard is the calm half of his marriage. Preferring to have his wife be her loud and talkative self that he fell in love with all those years ago. But when it becomes known that  Jimmy and his friends merely received a week's suspension and a slap on the wrist, Coach is enraged, and it is scary. 

 

            The thing is, Eric had never heard his dad yell or scream in anger before. His screams were saved for football and football only. Never when reprimanding Eric did he ever shout, preferring to be direct and stern but never aggressive. So when Eric hears his father shouting at the principal he almost does not believe it. Part because of never hearing his father get this angry before, but also in part because he wasn't entirely sure his father would chose him over his athletes.

            "I DON'T GIVE A _DAMN_ WHAT THOSE BOYS SAY THEY DID! MY SON WAS BEATEN HALF TO DEATH- ASSAULTED ON SCHOOL GROUNDS AND YOU'RE TELLING ME, THAT HIS BEHAVIOR _"WAS ASKING FOR IT"_. THAT NOT ONLY BLAMES MY SON, AS A VICTIM, BUT INSINUATES  THAT IT IS OKAY TO ASSAULT ANYONE WHO IS DIFFERENT" 

                    "We- well Coach Bittle we've already suspended the boys in question, and you have made it clear they are not welcome back on the football team, what else is there to do?"

             "Howard, you better find yourself a new football coach, and head of athletics because I will not sit by, while some son of a bitch let's students be treated this way."

                  Suzanne can hardly believe her ears because her husband had just cursed at the principal of her sons ~~old~~ school. The day they walk out of the principal's office, is the day Coach begins looking for a new job. Because he may not understand everything his son loves, he may not understand everything his son does and he may not be able to communicate well with his son, but goddammit let it be known that Richard Joseph Bittle loves his son. 

 

 

 

           Madison is entirely the same and yet completely different from Perrysville. It still holds the small town southern homeyness his old home but it feels happier, almost brighter in a way. The potential for new beginnings brings so much happiness to Eric's life that it's absolutely blinding. In Madison no one knows him. He can be whatever he wants to be. Unfortunately Madison also brings him three hour away from Katya, and the closest skating coach being in Athens, means he must quit skating. However Eric still yearns for the ice; so with safety, and practicality in mind, he joins hockey.  

 

           "Dicky sweetie I just don't think this is wise... remember peewee football? and...." words hang from Suzanne's lips, remembering it all. 

           "I told ya Mama its co-ed AND there's  _no checking allowed_ "  

           'Well sweetie if this is really what you wanna do"

          And so Eric throws himself into hockey. he learns the technique, positions and all the technical knowledge required. He even uses his own money to buy sticks and pucks. He decides not to delve too much into the culture, finding it a bit too barbaric  for his tastes. Preferring the no checking allowed rule his eighth grade team has installed. Towards the end of his eighth grade year, Eric takes up vlogging to talk all about his new experiences and his love of baking to complete strangers who don't know him it all. The vlog becomes his outlet where he can truly be himself. Because no matter how much better Madison is from Perrysville, Georgia is still Georgia and Eric is still himself. 

          As Eric enters highschool he throws himself into hockey. Falling in love, not with his team per say but with the sport itself. No checks allow him to be free and fast on the ice, developing his skills at a maddening rate. Speed from ice skating bequeaths him with the chance to become one of the best on the team and his dedication to the practice and the team itself is always evident. By the end of his sophomore year he is appointed captain. Life seems to be getting just a little bit better for Eric. He may not have many close friends, but his teammates say 'hi' to him in class and in the hallways,and no one beats him up. He is respected as a captain and a player. While in school he may not be too prominent, Eric finds that, online, he flourishes.finding his home in crust debates and crumble discussions with complete strangers. The hateful comments every now and again remind Eric of reality but he learns to ignore them. Because for once in his life, Eric Bittle is content with the way things are turning out. 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone wanna kick my ass for not publishing this sooner you are welcome too. @lizards-online on tumblr


	4. I'm Eric Bittle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric is getting ready for college

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck y'all im so sorry its been months. school has been kicking my ass. im a bad student and a procrastinator. and the person who betas my fics is smart and in a bunch of advanced classes so they've been busy. i promise i'll do better to get chapter 5 out in a couple weeks

             Senior year means college applications. Means scouts looking for recruits. Means Eric Bittle fervently applying to every out-of-state school in hopes of getting a chance at escaping his hometown. Eric doesn't want to end up as one of those people who returns to their hometown after college, to work a mediocre job in the suburbs and raise a family with a wife he can't love.      


             So senior year Eric has a girl from the team film him skating so that he can send tapes to potential schools in hopes of being accepted into their hockey program. Eric knows for a fact he can't get a scholarship based on grades, and out of state schools are expensive.  
  
  


             Eric faces Ami and her camera, skating to the center of the rink he halts as the music begins. The beat pours through the rink speakers as he starts skating laps, gaining speed.  He pushes off turning in the air and landing gracefully. This goes on with more and more complex jumps until Eric stops at middle ice.

             “Ami thanks darlin’, I think that's it!”

* * *

  
  


              “Samwell, honey? Isn't that a bit far? There are tons of great schools down here you know.”

              “Mamaaaaa” he groans.

              He knows his mother wants him to go to a state school, somewhere  close, but he can't stay in Georgia, closeted. In Georgia he fears for his safety daily. Eric is praying for some miracle, wishing for freedom. He loves his mother, loves his family, loves his town, and maybe could go as far as to say he loves Georgia. But college is a time to express yourself, to find out who you are, and that’s exactly what he's gonna do.  
  


              When the letter from Samwell arrives Eric is almost afraid he’s dreaming. Standing by the kitchen counter holding the piece of paper as if it were holy. Not only was he accepted, but he was being offered a partial scholarship. And for hockey! However he’s snapped out of his reverie by his mother.

            “Dicky what’s the matter? You’re tearin up fit to cry.”

           “I GOT IN MAMA I GOT IN!” Eric runs to hug his mother, large tears streaming down his face. He didn't even notice his father in the doorway, with a melancholy grin, feeling so damned proud of his son.    
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kick my ass on tumblr @lizards-online

**Author's Note:**

> this is going to be pretty long and kinda depressing to bunker down


End file.
